So here I sit, at 225 lbs, the most I've ever weighed while not pregnant. I've been going over a lot of things in my mind. It seems that I have a problem with eating. It may as well be termed binge eating. I sneak food, and will eat to the point of feeling sick. Why do I do this? Because I'm lonely. Bored. Overwhelmed. Sad. Tired. I feel that when I want to binge, it's always with a negative emotion at hand. I love so many people, but it seems I can't love myself. I feel that I don't deserve what I have, or the people who love me. I think "If only I was thinner, prettier, smarter".
So next time I think these negative things, I'm going to write them down. For every bad thing I write down, I'll write down something positive about myself.
I know I just need to realize that I'm only human. That it really shouldn't matter what is on the outside. I know, that for the people who matter, I AM smart, funny, and pretty, no matter what my weight is. I'm a good mother, no matter what my weight is. I can make people laugh, and I think that I can give pretty good advice. I read faster than anyone else I know, and I love giving a helping hand.
It's a small start, but at least it's a start.
